Only in Florida: 5 More Wacky Stories From 2018

Florida is well-known for its strange stories, so to bring some brevity to this blog, we published The Wackiest Stories of the Year (So Far) this past April. Well, we’ve scoured the internet again, and who knew that less than six months later we’d have another batch of crazy to share with you? Here’s a look some recent Sunshine State shenanigans to give you a chuckle, each with a legal twist, of course!

Earning His “Street” Cred 

Camus McNair wasn’t trying to get to Sesame Street when he was stopped by Key West police back in July. An obscured license plate led to his stop, and the smell of marijuana led to a search of his vehicle. Hidden inside a backpack was a stuffed Cookie Monster toy—literally. Officers noted that the toy was “unusually heavy,” and when they sliced open his belly they didn’t find cookies, but rather 314 grams of cocaine. Camus was arrested for trafficking, and we assume Cookie Monster is being held as evidence.

Monkey Business

Did he have a monkey on his back? Cody Hesson of Holiday, Florida, went off the road and into a ditch this past June. Needless to say, this attracted the attention of law enforcement officials, who made two discoveries: one, the car was stolen; and two, Hesson had a diaper-wearing Capuchin Monkey on board without a permit. Hesson was arrested for driving a stolen vehicle, while “Monk” was taken to the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary.

Not to be outdone, Tina Ballard decided to take her spider monkey “Spanky” to an Okeechobee Home Depot this past May. She left the leashed monkey in the car, but it escaped and attacked a Home Depot employee, who did not report the incident at the time. Ballard retrieved Spanky, and less than a month later returned to the Home Depot with the monkey in tow (perhaps building a cage?) who proceeded to bite another employee. Ballard grabbed Spanky and fled to North Carolina presumably to hide him, but she was caught and arrested. Happily, Spanky was sent to a primate sanctuary and is presumably banned from Home Depot for life.

Living up to Her Name

While most people were sleeping soundly at 6am on Saturday, May 26, the Saint Augustine Police Department were responding to a complaint about three people hanging out in a parked car on South Dixie Highway. Upon investigation of the vehicle, officers discovered drug paraphernalia and crystal meth in the purse of one woman. Her name? Crystal Methvin. Crystal was arrested and taken into custody, and her mugshot, name, and charge were posted on the department’s website leading to a Twitter-storm of guffaws. While some people took issue with the police for posting her mugshot, the department responded that it was policy for every arrest, and that “we have too many of our young children eaten away by this and we see it daily! Enough is Enough!"

“Meating” in the Middle

While Florida Republicans and Democrats rarely agree on anything, they do agree that we should not be eating dogs or cats. After a year in the making, the House passed a bipartisan bill this September, The Dog and Cat Meat Trade Prohibition Act, which originated by Florida Representative Vern Buchanan, a Republican, and Alcee Hastings, a Democrat. The bill outlaws the slaughter of cats and dogs for human consumption, which is actually legal in 44 states. Way to lead the charge for our furry friends, Florida!

Anti-Social Media

Known by the pseudonym Paul Flart, a security guard in a Florida hospital spent a lot of time sitting in an empty lobby—and noticed that the hallway acoustics really complemented his flatulence. This inspired him to create an Instagram account and document his talent. There was little fanfare at first, until someone posted a compilation of Paul’s hobby on YouTube and it went viral. Unfortunately for Paul, hospital executives weren’t as impressed as his followers—especially because he was wearing the hospital’s official uniform in the videos. Paul was sent packing, and perhaps this is a good lesson for all those who choose to toot their own horn on social media.

There you have it, our five (well, six) wackiest stories of mid-2018. Be sure to follow our blog, as we’ll keep you updated on more bizarre “only in Florida” stories. At Lowman Law Firm, we’ve also heard our share of crazy stories—and we’d love to hear yours! Share in the comments below.