Only in Florida: 5 More Wild Stories From 2018

Let’s face it: Florida has some unusual characters. Hardly a week goes by without some crazy story involving #floridaman going viral on social media. We’ve been tracking some of these stories over the last year, and now we have another batch of wild Sunshine State happenings to share with you to get 2019 started off right.

Not the Best Place for an Argument

Most of us have argued with someone in a car at some point in our lives, but odds are pretty good that both people were in the car at the time. That wasn’t the case when Patresha Isidore had a dispute with an unidentified man on I-95 in the Miami area last June. Imagine other drivers’ surprise when they looked over to see Isidore racing down the highway with a man desperately clinging to the hood of her car. Actually, you don’t have to imagine it because someone managed to capture the scene on video. Officials later released the 911 call from the man on the hood. When the operator asked the man about his emergency, he replied: “My life is actually in danger. I’m on the roof of my car, someone is driving.” Fortunately, he appeared to escape the incident without injury, and Isidore was taken into custody later that night.

This Place is Dead Anyway…

The local Walmart may be great for buying groceries or household items, but it’s not exactly a thrilling night spot. Maybe that’s what Largo’s Jefferey Rober Sabiel and Santa Marie Walters were thinking when they boarded a motorized shopping cart and rolled out of the store. Witnesses spotted them as they made their low-speed getaway down Rosery Road (probably sans helmets). The couple didn’t get very far. After the theft was reported, an officer found the cart outside Jimmy’s Sports Bar and confronted the joyriders at the bar. After trying to deny the theft, the couple surrendered to the officer.

No word on whether they parked the cart in the motorcycle space.

An Otherworldly Endorsement

Running for political office is a grueling process. Candidates must undergo intense public scrutiny that exposes many details about their past. In the case of Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, who ran for the Republican nomination in her US House district in 2018, that history included years of political experience in the Miami-Dade area.

Oh, and the fact that she was abducted by aliens when she was 7 years old.

Aguilera claimed to have been taken aboard an alien ship by beings who resembled the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. The blond extraterrestrials then informed her that Africa was the “center of the world’s energy” and that thousands of non-human skulls could be found in a cave on the island of Malta. Aguilera also claimed to have experienced paranormal activity in the years following her abduction, and that she has had telepathic contact with the aliens intermittently since then.

The unusual story didn’t keep her from winning the Miami Herald’s endorsement in the August GOP primary. She failed to win the nomination, however, securing just over four percent of the vote in a nine-candidate field.

Spaghetti Arson

A residential break-in in DeLand took a strange (well, not for Florida) turn when the thieves tried to start a fire with a can of spaghetti sauce. John Silva and Derrick Irving broke into the home during the night, covering the security cameras with a towel to avoid detection and stealing a number of items. Perhaps in an effort to cover their tracks, they left a pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove with a rag near the burner. When police confronted the men, they tried to deny their involvement, but the empty Ragu can in the passenger seat didn’t exactly bolster their alibis.

The victim also reported that Irving was wearing a bull costume during the break-in. Your guess is as good as ours.

It’s Raining…Iguanas?

Florida residents don’t respond very well to cold weather, but they fared a little better than the wildlife in South Florida last January. When early morning temperatures dropped below 40 degrees, residents were surprised to find “frozen” iguanas splayed out in their yards and sidewalks. Although the lizards appeared dead, it turns out that the cold-blooded creatures become sluggish whenever temperatures drop below 50 degrees. When it gets below 40, they freeze up completely, falling into a stiff torpor. Luckily for the iguanas, a few minutes in the sun was usually enough to rouse them again so they could scurry off. Residents were advised to leave the creatures where they lay, however, as they could spring to life and bite someone in self-defense. While maybe not as severe as a potential dog bite, it’s just not worth the risk.

Now that you’ve had your last filling of crazy 2018 stories, you can start looking ahead to whatever wackiness 2019 will have in store for Florida. At Lowman Law Firm, we’re no stranger to strange stories—and we’d love to hear about yours. Share them in the comments below.